openbook1

I never really realized the flood of emotions that come with writing a book about one of the most terrible and awesome things that had ever happened to me.  I am certainly seeing deeper inside me and having to come to terms with feelings and emotions and memories of pain about my eye that I really feel like I have almost suppressed.  For example, when I was writing the chapter about what I went through phsically and seeing all the doctors and the medication I was on it was like I was back at that place again; unhappy, suicidal, out of ministry and ready to just quit.  I know God was with me through all of the things I went through but I also realized that there are some areas of my life I still have to work on.  If you are going through a challenge in your life remember that just because you go through something it doesn’t necessarily make you stronger unless you have learned from it.  I know that my relationship to Jesus is the only thing that has brought me through all the physical, mental and emotional pain of the past four and a half years but I also see how at times I was just trying to get through the situation instead of asking God, “what are you trying to teach me because of this?”  If this can help one person to not ask “why” but “what” then everything I went through with my eye was worth it.  I want to make a difference in the world around me and the friends I come in contact with.

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