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I am not a Christian anymore…

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I am not a Christian anymore.  Maybe that sounds odd for a pastor to say something like this, but I had a type of epiphany this morning in my prayer time.  I was reviewing and thinking about the meaning of the word “Christian” to people who dont know Christ as their best friend and savior.  I am tired of R&B artists dropping F bombs and talking about inappropriate things in their music and then thanking God when they accept some award for a song or video they did.  I am tired of celebrities saying they are Christians on national television or wearing Christian t shirts and cursing and not living a witnessing life around others.  I am not saying that being a follower of Christ is being perfect, but it is following ONLY Christ and recognizing the sacrifices Jesus has made for my sins.  I really dont want people around me who are not Christians to look at me and see perfection because that is not what Christianity is about.  It is about loving all people with the love of Christ, constantly becoming more patient when I drive, or talking to God so much that I dont react to a situation but I step back, think about what I am doing and make sure it lines up with the Word of God and considering what Jesus would do in that situation.  I want to be known as a follower of Christ.  Not a man of perfection, but a human who follows a God that I know has my best interests in mind no matter what I go through.  That he is ordering my steps even though, at times, it feels like I am not able to take those steps.  I dont want people around me who are pre-believers to think that I take into account confucious’ positive sayings, or motivational speakers/life coaches helpful words for living a more successful life.  Being a follower of Christ is treating my wife with respect and love, being patient/loving with people around me and honoring those in authority over me as much as it is praying nice prayers and reading the Word of God on a daily basis.  God make me a complete person in the Fruits of the Spirit as much as the Gifts of the Spirit that I have in my life.

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Hanging out in Wyoming and remembering the good ol’ days

I was up early today for a walk around the first town I pastored when i got into ministry; Worland Wyoming.  I have really been in prayer a lot since getting here on Thursday specifically for the churches in the town to really see the lost and not just thier own agendas.  This is a town of only 4,900 people but with over 35 churches.  That was causing me to think about the potential for all of those bodies of Christ coming together and really working on seeing the lost saved in an amazing way.  I was reading Watchman Nee who had amazing insite into what God was doing in the lives of people including his own.  The funny thing is that most of his works occured while he was locked up in prison and under heavy persecution.  I like reading his thoughts because they are backed up by scripture and very thought provoking.  As I was reading this morning, I was thinking about how arrogant I was to think that my church here in Worland was the only one reaching people for Christ.  I am not saying that we were not, because we were, but I feel like with the things I have gone through with my eye and just getting older, I understand more fully the work of Jesus in the lives of all believers.  It has also been good to be around one of my best friends here in Wyoming and hear his heart and what God is doing through him to affect his congregation for Christ.  I still believe that a church needs to have only the Bible as its source of direction, but that God is big enough to place all different types of people in different kinds of churches.  I know about the convictions I have for Christ, but I want the outcome of those decisions to be attractive to all people that watch Yolanda and me.  I pray that God continues to open my mind up to not only going deeper in my walk with him, but also for my heart for the lost to continue to increase as well.  As I walk the streets of Worland, let me carry that same attitude of seeing the lost saved to Denver when I return home.

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An Encouraging thing just happened

Tonight, I had a visit from my neighbor.  This may not seem like a big deal, but there are circumstances around this situation that are really encouraging to me and I thought I would share with you all.  When I was REALLY sick with my eye situation, God had convicted me of not sharing my faith enough with the people that live in our townhome complex.  One guy in particular, was a person who had always been on my heart since we had moved to this area of town  about six years ago but for one reason or another I had always found excuses not to talk to him about Jesus.  Being a pastor, I always said I was too busy putting together services for other people so THEY could go out and share their faith with the world.  Then my world was turned upside down by having Scleritis and almost losing my eye in the process.  If you have never been really sick to the point of a changed lifestyle, one thing to know is that your priorities in life change.  I went from “looking good” as a pastor to actually doing my job on this earth which is sharing my faith with others.  I can remember the night about five years ago when I decided that I was not going to go blind or die and not have shared my faith with this neighbor who had been on my heart for so many years.   I walked over and knocked on the door and he let me into the doorway of his house.  I told him, “I have lived here for two years and have never told you about the most important thing in my life which is my relationship with Jesus.”  I was then waiting for him to break down and start crying and give his life over to God right then and there.  Needless to say, that didn’t happen.  He went on to tell me how he had been involved with a denomination growing up and had been abused by the church staff when he was a kid and still had some pretty hard feelings for church in general.  I told him, “well, you know I am pretty sick right now and I dont know what is going to happen to me, but I knew that I needed to tell him about my feelings for Jesus and that I knew I was supposed to talk to him that night.  I walked back to my house and went on with my life and living out the next four most painful years of my life emotionally, physically, spiritually and financially.  Whenever I had seen this neighbor around it was good because I knew I had done my part to tell him about God and the rest was up to him.
So fast forward to tonight and my visit from this neighbor.  He proceeded to tell me that he was fully involved in a church now singing in the choir and that he had dealt with the issues that had hurt him so many years ago.  He told me that he had made it right with God and was not mad at the church anymore.  I really feel like my conversation with him about four years ago started something in him that progressed to the point of him coming to grips with the pain that he went through as a child and knowing that being mad at God was not the answer to the peace he was looking for in life.  The other amazing thing was that his intention tonight was only to walk over and tell me this information about him going to church and that he had made it right with God.  This was encouraging to me in that my eye situation was used to get me off my fat butt and go tell someone about my relationship with Jesus and for it to start something good in his life and change his eternal destination forever.  I know that it was not just about me talking to my neighbor that changed him, but it was about God using me in the middle of my crap to change a guy who I will now see in heaven and who has made peace with a painful past.  What are you doing today to change the world around you?  Please don’t do what I did and wait for a rotten eyeball to do the things that God is asking you to do. If you dont have a relationship with him then please send me an email and we can talk.  pbrian7@yahoo.com
I can now say that this is the most fun I have had in my walk with God and helping to change people’s lives for the better.  It really isn’t me sharing with people about what I think is wrong with their lives or what they believe, it is talking about the peace I have found in Christ and the purpose beyond my life that is changing the world I live in forever for the glory of God.

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The amazing blessing to our family…Wilson

Today Yolanda and I had to put our little dog Wilson to sleep.  He was 16 years old and had been getting sick the past few days so we took him in this am to be put to sleep.  It was a sober reminder to me about the impact that Wilson has had on our lives.  Whenever you have a death of any kind in a family, you begin to talk and think about the life that was once a part of the family.  I know some would say, “he was just a dog” but Yolanda and I have never been without him as a couple.  She Got Wilson as a puppy when we were first dating and we have had him ever since.  We were talking about all the times that Wilson could have died from just doing stooopid things like getting out of the car on a trip from Florida to Springfield Missouri and running the WRONG WAY up the highway towards a birm in the road.  Or when he saw a cat at our house in Wyoming late one night and forgot he was on a leash and took a tumble on his head down eight concrete steps.  The best and most endearing memory I will have of him is when I was REALLY sick with my eye situation.  I remember one time when I was so sick that I didn’t want Yolanda or anyone else around including my dog.  Wilson knew something was wrong and kept trying to get closer to me on the couch.  I finally pushed him away with my foot, but he kept on creaping up to me.  I love my wife and she knows this with everything we have been through the past five years, but I can say without a doubt, that I probably would have killed myself if it wasn’t for Wilson.  I just had no reason to get out of bed some days and sometimes Wilson was the only reason I had to get up and get going with my day.  The mornings were always the hardest for me when I was sick, but Wilson was always right there with me.  There was a stretch of 11 months when I was out of work where I was with Wilson all day sometimes.  We definitely spent some good times together and now that he is gone I have a new respect for what he meant to me in this life.  I want to encourage you today with the death of my little dog Wilson.  My God loved me so much that he gave Yolanda and I a little Yorkie when we were first married but could see down the path of my life that I was going to need Wilson at my greatest point of need.  He gave me Wilson when he knew I was going to come to a place of giving up on life and needing to have a reason to go on.  The God I serve is so conerned about me that he would give our family that little dog to get my mind off of my eye rotting out of my head and on Wilson.  God knew I was going to have struggles with believing He was there but knew that Wilson could be that bridge for me to figure out it was God all along giving me what I needed exactly when I needed it.  Yolanda and I will miss Wilson, but that little dog served his purpose in this life and I am determined to do the same.  I will live my life for the cause of Christ and for the people around me that need to see that Jesus can take care of EVERYTHING they are going through.  This little blog post may seem a little dramatic, but you need to have stepped in my shoes the past five years to understand what Wilson and my God have meant to me.  It was Wilson’s love of me that kept me going and I know that it is the love I have for people that will help them in their time of need.  Hopefully, I will be that bridge for people to get from seeing a person loving them and lifting them up to a God that wants to know them and have a real relationship with them.  If you want to know more about Jesus and giving him more important role in your life, then send me and email and I will be in touch!  pbrian7@yahoo.com

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Swine Flu and you…what we are really seeing in America

pigartWell I don’t know about you, but I think I am fed up with hearing about swine flu (typed in all lower case letters for a reason).  I look on my twitter account and see that one of the most searched terms for the past couple of weeks has been swine flu.  This has really turned out to be more of a flop (in a good way) as far as the severity of the flu strain than it was first supposed to be.  People are contracting it and getting better with treatment and some news articles I have read said that it is just a different strain of the common flu.  One thing I find amazing is the way that the world has reacted to this epidemic of words and information about the flu.  The news has reported on it, people have blogged about it, facebook and myspace updates about everyday on it and just a “water cooler” type of buzz that has been infectious not in the disease but in the misinformation about it.  This swine flu has shown me one thing that is unequivocally true about this world and most of its inhabitants…they listen to anything the media and others say and then react to it.  I know that as a Christian, God has not called me to be reactionary in the way I live my life.  Not even on a Spiritual level, but when I react to situations in my life I let circumstances dictate to me how happy I am, how happy I make others around me and am just generally controlled by things other than Jesus.  We need to be the light of the world and this is not just wearing a sandwich board in the downtown area of town and screaming “turn or burn” to people passing by.  It is to have such a relationship with Jesus that we don’t react to situations as far reaching as swine flu or maybe with a coworker that just likes to push our buttons or when something traumatic happens to us in life.  The reason why I know this type of “light shining” will work is the proof of the reactionary nature of the world we live in.  Most people are just reacting to the things that happen in life instead of acting on them.  I am thankful that this flu has not been the pandemic it was first thought it could be, but look at the reaction to people because I really believe it can be an open door for seeing people move from reactionary in life to living a life with Jesus that is “actionary” (if that is even a word) 🙂

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Susan Boyle and Crappy American Idol tryout kids

I watched the amazing video clip of Susan Boyle on Brittain’s Got Talent again today and also refelected back to the beautiful TV known as the American Idol auditions.  There is something very funny about those auditions for a couple of reasons.  1) The fact that pe0ple have seen the show and know that if they are not any good that Simon is going to trash them like 2 week expired milk.  2) VOLUNTERARILY sign a contract to be put on television and basically, be video foder for us the public to view and critique.  For the longest time, I thought, “Why in the heck would anyone who was that sucky of a singer, put themselves in from of a gajillion people to be made fun of?”  The simple answer, for most all the contestants that really were terrible, was that they really thought they were good enough to make it on the show and in the music industry.  They either had a mom who always told them that they were the greatest thing since sliced bread, which is not bad in itself, but basically lied to them and told them their singing was just as great (notice the mom’s comments on the American Idol link above).  Or maybe they had people around them who were too afraid to tell them they sucked so they encouraged the friend to go on Idol to have Simon “tell it like it is.”  For whatever reason, we all watched that television show like a trainwreak waiting to happen.  Then you have someone like Susan Boyle who, in every respect, is a very odd looking person with a strange lifestyle.  But when she opens her mouth and starts to sing, she could have on a pantsuit made of turd-smears and hair frizzed to the high heavens and it wouldn’t have mattered.
The interesting dichotomy here is that Susan probably didn’t have anyone to tell her that she was a great singer or encourage her to go onto Britain’s Got Talent before this season because of her physical appearance or just a lack of support around her to help tell her she was great.   She was probably always looked down on automatically (like Simon did in the the beginning of her audition) and has not had the people around her all through her life to tell her that she had a special gift to be shared with the world.
The point of my blog today is two questions; 1) are you being honest with people when they ask you for an evaluation of them in some way?  It is more important that we share things with people in private before they possibly look foolish in public. 2)Are you encouraging others to greatness?  Are you investing positive words of encouragement in kids, a spouse or a friend?  We are not on this earth to glorify ourselves but, I believe, to make others better than they would be without us.  Anyone can be a smart alek and say cutting things, but it is a true person of value who says things to build people up and help them be as great as they can be.

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How’s this for a whopper…

We are entering our 21 days of prayer and fasting today leading up to Easter and I went on a walk today to pray and just seek God for what he wants me to do during these 21 days. I think I have a plan pretty much about what I want to do because this is the first time in about 5 years that I have been able to fast because of my former health issues. I am pretty excited and looking for God to do some great things for me but also for our church. The world has never needed the church and the power of the Holy Spirit more than ever in history possibly. I really believe we are at a crossroads as a country in the things we believe and just our general spiritual direction.
Ok, here is the whopper…I really feel like God wants me to pray specifically each day of the fast for people with terminal or chronic illness. These are the kinds of prayers that remind you of just how much you need to rely on God and his power working through you because just about everything in the physical realm says that things are not going to change. I am even believing for total restoration of my left eye and my vision also completely restored. When I was really sick all I wanted was to not lose my eye even if I had to be on drugs (some really powerful and crappy stuff) for the rest of my life. I am off all my drugs but now I want more not just for myself but for people that I have talked to that need healing. I am happy with whatever decision God has for my health and not giving me my vision and restored eye, but I really feel like I need to ask. I am not saying that I dont have faith to be healed, but that I have faith in my God that as long as I ask he will listen and do whats best for me. Chronic pain or sickness is something that we learn to “manage” in life instead of asking God to take it away many times. I am praying for people who I know need a touch from God and believing that God will have his way in all situations. I will still be doing Tuesday’s Facebook friend prayer day, but I am going to be using lunches for the next 3 weeks to really press in for people that need to not just hang on one more day but I believe its time to see a miracle in their situation. Send me requests to my message inbox http://profile.to/brianrmorris and I will be lifting you up for the next 3 weeks!!

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change

Change is a very strange and organic thing.  Everyone of us is changing everyday.  The first day you were born is the first day you started to change and eventually die.  We are all getting older, but also wiser and smarter hopefully.  If you think about it, there are elements of change that we can control and things we cannot.  When sickness strikes you or your family that is a change.  I just wrote in my book a few weeks ago that when I got sick there were foods I couldn’t eat, vacations I couldn’t go on and just things I couldn’t do.  The problem with all the change in my life is that I was not ready for it.  I had not changed enough in my relationship with Jesus to be ready for the physical storm i was about to endure.  I always find it interesting that the universal term for a relationship with Jesus is a “walk” with him.  I can “stand for him”, but my relationship with him is known as a walk.  Just the word “walk” to me indicates a moving from one place to another.  Not by anyone elses standards, but if my “change” with Christ has not matured to a place to be ready for the crappy changes that are guarenteed to happen to me, I will not be ready for the pain that negative change can bring.  Think of it this way; we have opportunities to grow, change and become a better person everyday.  The “changes” in our lives that are painful (physical illness, family issues, mental stresses) will test or show how much true GOOD change has happened in us.  So here are some things to take away from this; if you are in the middle of “crappy change” in your life and feel like you are losing the battle, then know that all that’s happening is a showing of the changes you need to make in your life that you can control.  It is always easier to look at the pain of a situation instead of thinking about who you want to be on the other side of it.  The other thing to remember is that without a test of where we are in life then can we truely say we are growing or changing into who God wants us to be?   We need to look at pain and the crap of life as a test and meet it head on with an expectation that we are going to get through it or learn something valuable about ourselves that needs “change.”  I want to develop this a bit more in the coming days so stay tuned…

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Having fun in life

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I can remember a time not long ago when I had lost the fun in my life.  I was depressed, thought I had it worse than anyone else and really didnt want to have any contact socially with people.  When you are sick or going through crap in your life that is one of the byproducts.  I was being my “old goofy self” the other day and Yolanda said that she thought i was high…i told her I was “high on life and high on her!”  I think that having fun in life is paramount to our emotional health.  Not just going and doing fun things (although I think its fun to go to Alaska in June 🙂 but really having an attitude that says “I am going to make the most out of today.”  Your perspective changes and you are more of a joy to be around.  If you look at the happiest and more fulfilled people in life (not just Christian’s) they are ones who, in some way during their week, are giving to others and have a joyful attitude of seeing someone else changed by their positive attitude.  The cool thing about loving Jesus is that I not only have joy to share that makes people feel good in this life but a hope of spending eternity with God forever.  If you don’t really have a relationship with Jesus I encourage you to find a greater fun and joy than you have ever known.  I know that i would have NEVER made it through the crap of my life without Jesus and the church body of friends at ORCC.  If you are going through something in life that seems insurmountable then my advise to you is to try even harder each day to find one thing positive so that you dont lose your joy.  Remember, God said that life is about seasons and we are promised to go through them.  We dont live in a “spiritual Florida” where there is pretty much one season of hot.  🙂  Joy is the key to unlocking a great life.  You can have it but its a decision and not a condition.  Think about it.