Category: Uncategorized

God has really been challenging me to get off the ol’ kiester and get more involved with him.  Not church, not a social outreach, not a video game, not more loud music for my stereo in my truck, not more friend requests (although facebook is DANG fun) but with him.  Its kind of hard to explain what I have been feeling the past few days.  I do think that some of this is coming from my book writing and being thankful I still have my eye and didn’t have to get it removed and still have some vision.  I really believe that when we start feeling better from being sick or mentally in a bad place that we can slack off in our pursuit of God.  Pain has an amazing way of keeping us close to God whether it is the prayer of desperation or the prayer of consecration.  If you are in a place of pain right now with your life please dont forget it.  That may sound like a stupid statement but if we cannot remember the pains of life then we will have no reference for where God has brought us.  I am determined to make my life count not just for others and seeing them start talking to God again or have hope to get through the crap of life, but to make my life and my relationship with Jesus better than it has ever been.  Dont just change the world around you with your story of hope, change YOUR world.

I am sure that the winner of the superbowl this year (steelers, congrats Uncle Jon) will not change the condition of my life.  Although I cheer for the Buccaneers and want them to win with every fiber of my being, the outcome of last nights game will not affect me in eternity.  Just a little food for thought this morning after gorging yourself on Brats and football last night and something to think about if your team didnt make it this year. (besides the fact that this is my therapy for my team not making it) 🙂

I am in book writing and reflection mode in my life right now and I wanted to share a little nugget of truth from me to you.  In life, we will all go through something that is painful and will have to deal with the consequences of that pain.  I truly believe that pain should be seen as a way to prove what you are made of and not that pain makes who you are.  When we understand this simple principle we will learn to welcome challenges in our lives because they are not only opportunities to grow in our character but to learn something about ourselves we never knew.  You will either have pain happen so many times and never realize its inevitable and continue to let pain direct your life or you will welcome it with open arms and thank God for the chance to show him how much you are focused on eternity and not on the temporary.  I am not saying that pain doesn’t hurt because by its definition it does.  But when we realize that pain is as much a part of life as happiness then we have stepped over into a realm of understanding what our life should be; going thru things so that we can help others.  God designed us to be able to help others.  Learn it now or learn it later.  I choose now, shouldn’t you?

I never really realized the flood of emotions that come with writing a book about one of the most terrible and awesome things that had ever happened to me.  I am certainly seeing deeper inside me and having to come to terms with feelings and emotions and memories of pain about my eye that I really feel like I have almost suppressed.  For example, when I was writing the chapter about what I went through phsically and seeing all the doctors and the medication I was on it was like I was back at that place again; unhappy, suicidal, out of ministry and ready to just quit.  I know God was with me through all of the things I went through but I also realized that there are some areas of my life I still have to work on.  If you are going through a challenge in your life remember that just because you go through something it doesn’t necessarily make you stronger unless you have learned from it.  I know that my relationship to Jesus is the only thing that has brought me through all the physical, mental and emotional pain of the past four and a half years but I also see how at times I was just trying to get through the situation instead of asking God, “what are you trying to teach me because of this?”  If this can help one person to not ask “why” but “what” then everything I went through with my eye was worth it.  I want to make a difference in the world around me and the friends I come in contact with.

I have been very busy the past few months…you know…GETTING OFF ALL MY MEDICATION!!  That’s right folks, I am off of all the cancer inducing, liver killing, kidney abusing, life shortening, bone shrinking drugs.  I just took my last Cytoxin about 5 days ago.  I go into the doctor for a checkup in about 3 months (that’s how long the drug stays in your system.  Holy Lord).  I really want to thank everyone who has prayed for me and Yolanda.  It has been an incredible battle these past five years and I know that I am a better person from it.  I still have some damage in my left eye but I feel great and I have excellent vision in my right eye and peripheral vision in my left eye.  My face is back to normal and I can get into clothes that I haven’t been able to in years.  God has been good to me in teaching me some very important lessons while going through this pain.  The next thing I really need prayer for is to pay off medical bills.  They need a good “healing” as well.  Not to mention Yolanda’s car that is in need of some Lazarus-type faith.  We are believing for a new CRV for her and all the bills being paid off.  If God can bring me through this eye stuff then he can take care of the bills.  Thanks again and “HOLY CRAP…Im better!!”

I have a new pic in my vRp:) page. Check it out.

Yolanda and I were talking about this the other night.  I dont think that the earthly realm realizes just how much the devil uses fear to his advantage.  I am not trying to give the devil praise, but I am saying that if you have fear that occurs in your life, then you need to realize the source of it and do something about it.  I think that when fear happens in our lives that we just do everything we can to “just get by” and dont really think about a strategy for overcoming fear.  Some things we need to consider…
1. fear is directly from the devil and is only as powerful as we let it be.
2. We have the ability to actually make our situation worse if we let fear control us. 
3. Fear is an emotional reaction and comes from us.  It is a demonic influence on our emotions.
4. Dont let the devil “feast” on the emotion of fear in your life. 

I an not saying I am a pro at dealing with fear, but if we are not getting better with dealing with the Spiritual realm then we are getting worse at it.

I dont know what it is this year, but the olympics have my attention. The opening ceremony was unlike ANYTHING I have ever seen and was a technological wonder (and I know my technology). I was tearing up a bit during the medal ceremony for the Men’s 4×100 relay. The French were talking trash about how they were at the games to “crush” the American team. Not so little Frenchies. The will and determination of our team, who were underdogs, was an awesome thing to watch. Yolanda and I were screaming until our thoats were scratchy last night about 11:30pm. I am watching the Olympics this year with a different sense of American pride. I think its always good for the Olympics to come around every couple of years to remind us all of just what a great country we live in. We definitely have our problems but we live in the greatest country in the world and I am proud of it. Dont forget that when we get into the election season which is just around the corner. Whether you like or dislike the candidates, we have a democratic system that is setup to represent the people. Other countries around the world are not as fortunate as we are. God Bless America and let freedom ring. Has a nice tone doesnt it?

Yolanda misplaced her wedding ring the beginning of this week. I went into a frenzy trying to find it in our house. Yolanda had prayed about it and asked God to show her where it was at. Before this happened this week, I kind of thought those types of stories that people share were cheesy but not anymore. I definitely believed in God helping you with things, but when this happened i learned some valuable lessons in my own life.

1. I still dont think that I trust God as much as I think I do. I prayed about it but i think I was just doing it out of a sense of religious responsibility instead out of a heart that knew God would take care of it.

2. I may like money and possessions a little too much still. When Yolanda said she couldnt find her ring the first thing I thought was, ” holy crap. That thing is not cheap” not, ” wow, Yolanda loves that ring because one of the diamonds in it was her mothers and the other was the one I gave her on our wedding day.”

3. I dont look for the Lost of Denver the way I looked for that ring. I was definitely motivated to look for that ring because I knew it had value. I think God wants me to see the value of the lost of Denver and do my part to search for them. I am a pastor, but I sometimes hide behind my title instead of standing up for Jesus because I am a man of God FIRST.

This little episode taught me some things about myself that I didn’t really know. It is funny how a thing like a lost wedding ring can expose the truth about a person and their walk with God.

My mom and I going to my cousins wedding in Montana

My brother in law and his family at Garden of the Gods

Isabella and Stef at the Gold mine (didnt find much gold that trip…crap)